Well I think a update should be nice =D, this week is going to be so epic, that the world will stop turning, and the monkeys cure cancer~!!
Well, Sunday, or Monday I get to hang out with my friend Matty~ =D I am so happy about this since it has been forever since we both hung out. Also we are going to take cosplay pictures =D *Tis happy about that*
Just I can't wait to hang out with her, and just be epic like always xD Just so many things to do in those few days~
Also this weekend, I'm going out of town~ =D I mean wow, I get to hang out with Matty, and talk about Hetalia things, and then I get to go see my girlfriend, and us cosplay some more, as Naruto~
I need to draw some art while I am hanging out with Matty, might see if I can beg her to draw it for me xD
Tomorrow I need to go to Movie Stop, and sell some moies for money. Since, being poor sucks assh Dx I know I won't get much, I just hope I get at least ten dollars, and that should only cover food, I really wish I drove myself, and I also wish I had a job, then I can have moneys~ ;3;
Just I might have to leave her house Tuesday, since Mum is working that day, I also have to go to the doctors Thrusday, joy =3= I have no idea how I am going to get there, since Mum might need the car then, and everything.
She is also working ;3;
I think it is at 1, I pray it is at 1, since I will only be in there for an hour at most.
Gah I am so happy that i am getting out this house, it isn't even funny. I hate it here ;3; TAKE ME AWAY~!!
Anyways, I am off to force myself to sleep, since that is the hardest thing to do now ;3;
Night guys =D
PS I don't feel like spell checking, so deal with it =D

Well I have to check my DA, Gaia, Facebook, Myspace, LJ, and check to see if a new Hetalia ep came out. Also I have to be on MSN 24-7
That is what I have to do everyday.

I love my girlfriend, I love her more then anything, but damnit she is too nice~!!
Lets just say her 'best-friend' wanted to tell her how much she changed, and how they miss the old Lyn, and all that shit. I am sorry I love the way Lyn is now. She isn't a fake!!
She is for once in her life happy, and damnit why can't they just be happy for her?!
I dunno it is something that is just upsetting at times, yeh know?
To make it all worse, she doesn't want me to step in. I am sorry babe, but it isn't far that they can gang up on you, and you tell me that it is okay, you can deal with it.
No I want to help my girlfriend, and I don't want to see her hurt anymore.
So I told her the best thing to do is say 'fuck it', and just throw your arms up. Just don't take that shit anymore, put your foot down, but when I told her that, she doesn't want to hurt/lose her 'best-friend', sorry babe, but you already have~!! The moment she started making out with your 'girlfriend at the time'. Sorry friends don't do that.
Just I am just a tad bit pissed that I can't do anything, since Lyn asked me too, but I will not hold back how I feel when they message me, telling me things.
Sorry I don't let people walk on me, I had it happen to be too many times, and I got fucking sick of it.
Bite at me, I'll bite back, and I don't care who you are ....
I just needed to rant about this somewhere, where I know Lyn can't read. I am just so damn annoyed at the damn drama in this cosplay group, I just don't remember 'Drama' being part of the rule book.
Don't get me wrong, I love these girls to death, but my love will only reach out so far, before they trigger something.
Anna, is our youngest. She has never been a relationship before, and I know what she is doing. She is pulling a Harley Quinn, she is changing herself into something Kei can learn to love. =..=
I just learned last night/this morning, that they don't even date right now, they are just 'friends'
So this girl will never know what a real relationship feels like!!
Kei is a drama starter, that is all she is. She loves the drama, and I left high school drama, well look it found me again =..=
I dunno what to do to be honest .........
I am going to make me some to eat real quick before I go out to get my nephew at the bus stop.

Well I am working on getting my sleeping patterns back on track. Slowly, it is somewhat working. The night before last, I went to bed at 3. I know that isn't early at all, since you know it is 3AM, but better then going to sleep at 6.
Last night, I went to sleep at 12. That is a HUGE jump, I wanted to sleep all night, but no. That is too easy. So I woke up at 3 going on 4. So I read the rest the my Bleach, and after I was done, it was 5. So I was like, hey I need to lay back down. I did. I rolled around for like an hour. =..=
I don't understand what my body is doing, but slowly I am going back to my old patterns.

On the side note, I might be able to see my girlfriend next month. No one knows how happy I am. Since we hardly see each other now, so it is like our Xmas.
Hell seeing her, is the best gift I can ever ask for.

I need to ask Mum, if I can drive her car to get my Sister. She has been down, and I want to take her away from it all, just hang out like old times. I guess I'll ask tonight.

Also, I might be able to download OC, and PS. That is great for me right now, since I need to learn how to edit my own pictures. I LOVE YOU DEMY~!!!!
So I need to head over there like now xD

Yeah, lately I've been okay, just feeling down now, and again, but that is about it. (But I think this is one of those moments where I am going to talk about me feeling down D8 So skip over if you want guys.)
I am starting to worry about my body, and how it just wants to sleep all day, and stay up all night, hello body, we are not in high school anymore, you just can't do this~!!! D<
I miss Lyn more then ever, I think that is what wrong, she isn't laying next to me, god two nights with her, and now I just can't sleep without her, I feel so fucking lame =..=
As you can see I am feeling really bleh right now, just woke up around 4 going on 5, and I noticed Lyn has been calling all day, and I didn't hear the phone go off at all D8 I feel so bad. So I've been calling her back, to see if she is okay, but no answer, I feel like she is mad/upset with me, and why do I talk about her so much D8
SORRY GUYS!! I just need to get this off my chest, and to me this is the bests place to do it.
I've been noticing that I have hardly any friends anymore, I dunno why, but it upsets me so much that I pushed people away, or they notice I don't drive anymore, so no free ride.
=..= (Don't worry, I don't think non of you guys are like that.)
I wish I had a cellphone right now, so I can text Lyn, to make sure she isn't mad at me D8
I dunno I just feel so fucking left behind so, yeah =..=
I mean I have friends I talk to, but after a while our convo dies, and I am left to sit there feeling like I am not trying.
I mean I talk to Kiri (Sp?), and Lyn, but that is about it now.
I am in a cosplay group, and I don't even talk to the other members like I used too, WTF?!
It feels like when I got preggerz people just want to stay away, and it kinda bothers me a bit.
I used to be so close with Kei (Our Mello) Until I started to date her ex, now she just message me once in a while, and Anna (Our Near) doesn't even try anymore. It is like they are drifting off from the rest of us, sorry if we are not into Soul Eater like you guys =..= Sorry if Death Note is still the anime I rave about!!
I just wish we could all go back when we was all friends.
I guess that won't happen again.
I was thinking about leaving Gewaad, since I feel like I do nothing for the group, all I am is Matt. That is it, and to be honest, I want to be more. I want to cosplay more with them, I guess it is just me not wanting to feel left out D8
I am hungry, and I haven't ate all day, so I am going to make me a pizza.
Thanks for reading guys :3

I have no idea if we are even doing Thanksgiving xD

FUCK YEAH I WOULD~!! xD Free rent, fuck yeah~!!

Well I just took some epic cosplay pictures, found out the fake blood comes off =D
So I wanted to listen to this song I  downloaded, since I knew it was going to be touching, yeah guess what happen next.
So the song made me think about her, and made me miss her more then ever. Tomorrow is her birthday, and she will be 19. Breaks my heart knowing that she never reached 20.
I can't believe it, it feels like it was yesterday I was just talking to her, about the past.
Funny how one of the last things we talked about, was the past. Us remembering everything.
Funny thing is, I still wear that ugly brown beany xD I love that beany.
I remember when I used to call her cell, she has Bevis and Butthead as her ring back xD
I really do miss her, there is just so many things I wish we could talk about, things I wish she could see.
My child will never meat this wonderful person, or maybe she/he did, who knows?
I really do miss them, all of them.
Why can't you say one more goodbye, and I love you?
Well I am off to make me something to eat, and resizes the new BB pictures :3

My RENT cd is all I need to make my life go by :3

I would tell my lover how much I love her, with my dying breath.